Little Johnny was in the back yard kicking the ball around. The ball goes up against the house under his parents bedroom window. Hearing a noise he looks in through the window.
He gets all pissed off and kicks the ball clear across the yard and says “And I get grounded for sucking my thumb!”
Little Johnny is playing outside with a tin of petrol when he sees his friend Little Paul. Johnny walks over to him and notices that he has a bottle.
“What do you have there Paul?” asks Johnny.
“This is holy water” replied Paul.
“What do you do with it?” asks Johnny.
“Well” says Paul “I rub some of this on a ladies stomach and she passes a baby”.
“Ha!” scoffs Johnny “I rub some of this petrol on a cats bum and it passes a Ferrari!”.