Johnny’s teacher

One day at the end of class, little Johnny’s teacher asks the class

to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of

that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first

volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. “My dad

owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the

truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one

Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket

and onto the road.” When the teacher asked for the story’s moral,

Suzy replied, “Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket.” Little Lucy

went next. “My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the

chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only

eight of the 12 eggs hatched.”; Again, the teacher asked for the

moral of the story. Lucy replied, “Don’t count your chickens

before they hatch.” Next up was little Johnny. “My uncle Ted

fought in the Vietnam War, and his plane was shot down over

enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but could only

take a case of beer, a machine gun, and a machete. On the way

down, he drank a case of beer. Then he landed right in the middle

of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but

then he ran out of bullets! So he pulled out his machete and killed

20 more. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the

last ten with his bare hands.” The teacher looked a little shocked.

After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there

could be to this story. “Well,” Johnny replied, “Don’t fuck with

Uncle Ted when he’s been drinking.